Can you help me understand GOD? The way others do?

I ask because i wonder. I believe in god. God to me is whatever created everyone or me. Whether it be two rocks colliding or a big bang. Whatever it is I believe that is God. I do not believe there is a great being who watches over all of us though. I find that to hard to buy. I don't believe religion. There are too many for just one to be right. I know Christianity was not the first religion but act as if they are the only true one. Why would GOD single out people. Save one person from dying of cancer but let an innocent boy get killed in the streets. Why do people believe that GOD helps us. If anything bad happens we complain (pray) to GOD to fix it. If ANYTHING happens its because of GOD. if nothing happens then oh well. If GOD helps shouldn't he help us all. We are all his children, but why was Jesus the main child. Why was he more like GOD than any of us. or closer. They say when Jesus comes he will take all of his followers with him to Heaven. Why does he pick favorites. Why over look many people. Because they sinned. We all make mistakes and can only move forward with forgiveness. So shouldn't we all be forgiven. or should we all hate those who sin and do wrong. Everyone sins. EVERYONE. even Priests. So every Sunday when you go to church to ask forgiveness why should YOU be forgiven? You sin everyday and ALWAYS ask to be forgiven. Wouldn't God already forgive you? HE knows your not perfect. God is perfect. Right? So why is God given Human characteristics like anger and happiness. We as Humans are far from perfect. But as Humans are we not mammals. There are many Mammals and species on this earth. Do they go to hell? Fishes don't go to church. House Cats don't marry and have multiple partners. Eagles don't ask for forgiveness. So do they go to hell? or do they get an automatic get to heaven free card cause there not as great as us. At least that's how many people feel. We feel superior to a lot of animals. Isn't that Pride. A deadly sin. Sure a Lion does it too with all of his followers but is it a sin for it. Or is it fine. Wasn't the lion suppose to be king of the jungle. while we tear it down and try to rule the world. Would god really be happy with any human? We have expanded so greatly and destroyed so much of what god has made. Why would god constantly help us? Could it be that we all were made and were to be left alone. The only thing to help us is ourselves? Couldn't God of JUST been created to help stop everyone from wondering why ? People say that if you don't believe in God then your going to hell. Isn't that's Gods power your trying to invoke. Is it not HIS Choice. Why would there be a hell if God only has love for his creations? Shouldn't we be going to hell for trying to use gods power and telling others they are. Especially for gays. All of gods creations are perfect and have a meaning. So why do many hate gays? You are not suppose to hate something especially one of gods creations. And why do we nominate a pope or a spiritual leader. What makes them closer to God? their age? ( haha death joke ) Wouldn't god pick who was closer to him? instead of a lot of people playing Pope Idol? Can you really help me understand GOD. Or after you finished do you kind of wonder too.